The notorious JW-apologist will take this poem as proof that women cannot be entrusted with the task of responsible chair design.
It's "The Terrifying But Tragically True Tale of Trevor's Trapped Testicle". Just an incident of bad luck. Nothing to invoke Christian values and morals about. In the end all is well, no lasting harm is done. So, rest assured:
Moderate clapping and expressions of joy permitted.
P.S.: Even a pair of Tight Pants would have served as a sensible precaution.